God of the Cave
by WonderfulWonderful
Summary: She never quite knew why she was chosen. Was it by chance or by fate that she would find herself over 50 years from home and no clear way back? She was desperate to return, but first she had to do one thing: Save him.
1. Chapter 1

Lily dallied in the library for some time hoping that suddenly the right book would just fly out at her, except she didn't actually expect a book to do just that. She was wandering past a collection of school annuals when something fell and hit her straight on the head. _That felt heavy enough to fracture._ She thought as she soothed her head with her left hand, crouching down to inspect the flying weapon. An annual was splayed out on the hard wood floor, _1960_ clearly stated on the front cover and spine in thick gold letters, though the gold's original shine had long since faded.

"What did I do to you 1960?" Lily sighed as she picked it up. She flipped it over and began trying to smooth out the pages otherwise Mrs Reed might have her head for damage of property. As her fingers ironed out the paper she began to find herself reading. The first name she read was 'Gerard Pitts'

 _How Unfortunate._

His clubs were very standard. Chemistry, Physics and Soccer. Lily could just tell how interesting his life must have been. She yawned but continued reading nonetheless. Her eyes wandered up to the person above Gerard, Harry Phleming.

 _That was probably worse than Pitts._

Harry was a member of the Welton rowing team, the maths Club, the school annual and the debate team. One could just tell from the quality of the guy's photo compared to everyone else that there were many perks to being a part of the school annual.

Lily flipped back a page and found a page entirely devoted to one student.

 _He must have led the annual_.

But upon closer inspection Lily realised that was a harsh misjudgement. The boy, named as Neil Perry, had died in November 1959, never even seeing his graduation year. Messages had been left on the opposite page by fellow classmates, as well as a prayer asking for God's strength to fill them all as they go on into their own lives. The book didn't list a cause of death, but that was unsurprising. Cancer or pneumonia would really have spoilt the tribute – well that's if he had even died of Cancer or pneumonia. He certainly seemed too healthy to die so young.

"Lily?" The voice was instantly recognizable – Dana.

Lily looked up to see her roommate.

"Have you found anything?" Dana asked

"Nothing for Philosophy." Lily sighed, turning back to the shelf and slotting the annual back into the right place, "Perhaps you'll be better at finding something."

"Well perhaps if you weren't procrastinating" Dana began, leaning in close so that her lips were only just hovering millimetres apart from Lily's, "you might actually find something." She smiled and pulled away, skipping off to the section on religious studies.

Lily took a moment to breathe. If Dana only knew what she was doing to her. Or perhaps she knew everything and was cruelly teasing her. When Lily felt her blush had gone down enough she followed her roommate.

* * *

Lily scribbled out notes from her book on mechanics, but all the while she couldn't shake the thought of the dead boy from 1959. Who was he? What were his passions? Which room did he live in? Who were his friends? How did he die? Was he happy when he died? Lily shoved her work to one side, grabbed a clean piece of paper and scrawled out the name: "Neil Perry" in the centre of the page and encased it in a circle. Off one shoot she wrote, "1959" and another, "Senior". She also listed the clubs and then leaned back in her chair, the pencil wedged between her teeth, and sighed. That was also she knew about the mysterious dead boy. She wanted to know more and soon enough she hoped to have a whole page of information just to satisfy her curiosity. It was better to deal with it head on than fend it off for the year and find herself distracted from her work.

Where could she get her answers though? Not a single teacher working at the school had been around in 1959. She might be able to find more answers from that annual though she doubted it. She could probably use the school computer lab for answers but it was too late to try that. She groaned, pulled her mechanic book closer to her and tried to make sense of it and her subsequent notes.

The next day, Lily went to the computer lab just after breakfast. There was a whole hour between breakfast and the first lesson, allowing for students to complete any homework or final revision. It also allowed the day students a chance to comfortably make it to school in time. She logged into her school account and began googling the name "Neil Perry". Unfortunately every result was just a work profile of some sort. Lily huffed and added "1959, Welton" to the search bar and she was almost certain she had found what she wanted when articles and blog posts entitled: "Welton student dies" or something similar appeared. The blogs were mainly memorials by old friends – one was actually by Harry Phleming – and the articles were digitalised rewrites of the original 1959 ones. A small collection of articles were just on Welton as a school, briefly noting Neil's "untimely demise." Lily quickly learned that Neil had not died of pneumonia or cancer, but rather by his own hand. His face was present on every blog post and news article and all she could feel was pity. One particular article mentioned that he was buried at the cemetery in the nearby village and so Lily decided that she would visit his grave in honour of the fleeting connection she felt towards him. She knew she couldn't visit that afternoon; she had lacrosse every Wednesday after school. In the end she determined that she would visit on the Thursday.

When Thursday afternoon came around Lily's friends all thought she was insane. She hadn't intended to say that she was just happening to visit a dead boy's grave from 1959 later that day at the lunch table, but somehow her plans had made it into the conversation. Dana had teased her playfully about it during their Chemistry lesson and even before Lily left for town.

Lily signed out at the school reception and headed out of the school gates towards the town and the graveyard with her jacket pulled over her Welton uniform and a backpack slung over her shoulders. She bought a bouquet of white carnations at the local florists before going to find Neil Perry's final resting place at the cemetery next to the church. Neil's tombstone wasn't difficult to find. It was well maintained at least compared to some of the others, though it couldn't fight back the weathering effects of 50 years.

 _He didn't even get to turn 18_. Lily noted as she spied his birth date: 24th February 1942. Lily laid down the bouquet at the foot of his tombstone and took a moment to make a prayer. When she finished, she sensed that she was being watched. Lily turned to see an ageing woman staring at her from the church entrance. The woman moved closer and Lily observed the way her skin was starting to wrinkle and sag, the way her hair was caught between shocks of white and blonde. Her eyes were a strong blue, hidden behind a pair of square glasses. She couldn't have been older than 60.

"What are you doing?" The woman called to her.

Lily was taken aback. Was it not obvious? "Paying my respects" She answered.

"Are you one of Todd's? I'm surprised he'd send a child to Welton." The woman inspected.

Lily shook her head, "I just go to Welton" She admitted.

The women frowned, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but why are you visiting this grave? No Welton student has ever visited here beyond the one's that knew him."

"I just…never mind, I'll go."

"No, I don't mind. I'm not sure he would mind either"—she gestured to the gravestone—"Neil so rarely gets visitors."

"Did you know him?" Lily inquired.

"I met him once, yes. I was just a naive teenager at the time, tagging along with my friend and a handsome boy from the private school. He took us to meet his friends in a cave in the woods - It all sounds so dodgy now – and Neil was there. They were having a meeting in the cave."

"What sort of meeting?"

"They called themselves the 'Dead Poets Society': a very pretentious title if you ask me, but of course my friend, Gloria, and I played along. We giggled and flirted." A reminiscent smile spread tugged on the old woman's lips, "Neil died a few days later – killed himself actually. It was an awful business."

"Why did he kill himself?"

"His father apparently, that was the local rumor anyway. The papers told an entirely different story, as always: ' _Teacher causes teen suicide_ '."

Lily nodded to herself. She remembered that line from one of the articles.

"What do you think happened?"

"I don't know. He seemed happy when I met him. Anyway, it's nice to finally see he has a visitor. It has been a long while since his friends stopped by. His Mom used to come by twice a day until she died around 8 years ago now. That's her stone next to his."

"And his father?"

"I don't know if he ever visited. I only took up a position at the Church 12 years ago. He's still kicking though in the retirement home 10 miles from here."

"Anyway, I should be going." Lily announced, "It was nice meeting you…"

"Tina. Tina Sheppard."

* * *

Lily arrived at the cave that she had heard so many stories about. It was much colder in the woods where the sun cast vast shadows. Lily clambered inside and was surprised to find a shrine of sorts at the far side of the cave. A framed picture of Neil rested against the stone wall and letters had been nailed into the rock face. A book, frail from the decades it must have endured, sat at the base of the picture. Lily could just make out the title: "Five Centuries of Verse", though the gold lettering had long since faded into a crumbling, dull yellow and green typeface. To the right stood a statue of sorts. She quickly recognised it as a lamp stand. It was a strange thing to leave in someone's memorial. Lily surveyed the rest of the cave and was surprised to see no cigarettes butts or used condoms or anything. The cave seemed like the perfect hangout for any rebellious private school kid so why was it so untouched? Lily shook of the thought and returned her attention to the shrine. She couldn't help but look back over the statue. It was so odd and yet so beautiful. It looked like something Lily would find lurking in the back of her Great Aunt's basement and yet she couldn't help but admire it. She was mesmerised. She longed to feel the sculpted form. It was as though it sang to her. She brought her fingers forward and spied out the finely carved detail with her touch. She wanted to stay there for hours, pulled in by the enchantment of the lamp stand. She was lurching, the cave was melting, darkness swirling, rumbling, tumbling, down, away, into darkness and far beyond.

* * *

 **Hello people of the internet! So I really hope you enjoyed this first chapter. This is my second DPS story to date, my first being 'I Dial Your Number'. I really wanted to do something different and hopefully people like this. I also really hope that I can keep this up. If you liked this chapter make sure to favourite, follow and/or review. See you in the next one! :)**

 **PS: I am British but for the sake of it being based in an American school with American characters I do try to use American spellings, however sometimes I do write use British spellings which is a force of habit. I am sorry if you find that jarring in any way.**


	2. Chapter 2

Sick. Heavy. Tired.

Lily just wanted to curl up into a ball and let the world pass over her. Her brain pounded inside her skull. She felt hungover and unfamiliar. Where was she? What had happened? She grumbled and called for Dana hoping that her roommate might be able to offer her some medicine or something to get rid of the awful feeling that had taken over her. But Dana never answered. And finally Lily decided all she could was get herself up off the floor and power through, so Lily took a deep breath and struggled to her feet. But the new found sickness in her stomach quickly made her wish otherwise of her decision. She needed to get out. Find someone. But where was out? Lily was surrounded by darkness. She tentatively held out an arm in hopes she'd find a light switch but instead her fingers felt something hard. She sprang her arm back to her side, then shook off her foolishness and reached out again. Lily soon realized it was a shelf and on top she could feel random objects. Something like a vase and a clock perhaps. Unfamiliar things whatever they were.

Lily staggered away and searched for light, following the slightest difference in her dark vision until finally she stood in a faint blue and yellow glow. Lily felt around the area where the light streamed and realised it was a door with the screen pulled down. She tried the door knob. It rattled but didn't open. She grumbled, illness sinking in and now anxiety too. She beat her fists against the door, but Lily's frustration seemed to go further than that. Her fists never hit the door, never made it shake as it absorbed the force of her desperation to escape. Instead her hands went straight through as though nothing was in the way. Lily gulped and took a step forward and soon enough the darkness melted away and she was outside on a street.

Lily noticed the Church spire first, the one she'd been at just a couple days earlier. And then she saw the old theatre and the small clock tower in the park. She was in town. How on Earth had she gotten there? Some kind of underage drinking party again? Lily could be a bit of a lightweight, especially with the whiskey that Riley liked to smuggle into their dorms. Or was it some kind of cruel prank? She span round and stared at the door from where she'd come from, and then back at the town around her. She shook her curiosities off, formed her hands into fists and ran with all her might in the direction of the school. Lily barely made it to the corner before her body reminded her of how ill she was. She hunched over at the street corner and cried, then gritted her teeth and made the unbearable journey back to school.

It was still dark out when Lily got back, though it felt like it ought to have been noon with all the walking she did. Lily pulled her jacket hood tightly over her head as she snuck in through the front doors, not wanting to be captured on the school's CCTV system. She tiptoed up the stairs to the dorms. Lily cracked open the door to her room and slipped inside, before slowly closing it behind her and making her way to her bed. She fell asleep in seconds and didn't reawaken until the morning.

Bright sunlight streamed in to Lily's room. She turned away from it, determined to get in a few more minutes of sleep, but her logical mind reminded her that if she didn't get up, Dana would force her to get up or she'd be irritated by her alarm. Lily sighed and pushed herself up, kicking her covers back. She rubbed her eyes and crawled forward towards her desk by the end of her bed to turn off her alarm. Her eyes widened. It wasn't there. In fact, nothing was there. No textbooks or notes on Mechanics, no last minute French assignments, no pictures of her and her family at Disney World. Lily sprung up from her bed and began rifling through draws and cupboards. No clothes, no shoes, just hangers. Gone. Gone. All Gone! Lily turned to Dana's side expecting to see her iconic David Tennant mood board but it was nowhere in sight. Both desks were completely empty.

Lily's eyes shifted from the desks to the room as a whole and that's when she realised it wasn't her room. It couldn't be. Her room was refreshing and modern. This room was tacky and dated from the tartan curtain wardrobes to the metal frame beds. Lily stumbled her way across the room to check the room number. It was her number all right. She traced over the gold plated numbers with quivering fingers. She shook her head. This was not happening. _This was not happening_!

She backed away from the room, down the hall and headed towards the dining room. She was going to find Dana and the others there. They were going to tease her for sleeping so long and they would invite her to sit. She was going to sit across from Dana, between Laura and Olivia and Tate would be sat at the ending cracking his usual jokes with Alex. It would be normal. There would be coffee, milk and cereal and it would be normal. Lily felt the echoes of that normality as she entered the empty dining room. It was identical to the way it was in 2009. She could see the ghostly memories of her friends fill the room. It gave her a headache. She turned away from the room and went as far away as she could until she finally found another human being.

There was a man, elderly but not ancient, with round spectacles and a proud stature. He seemed to be waiting for someone.

"Sir!" Lily called even though she didn't recognise him. He was probably one of those teachers that never taught her, like Miss….Gumphrey? Humphrey? – it didn't really matter – She'd never taught Lily and the two had only met at the end of the last school year when Lily was helping set up for a fundraising event, "Please, sir, tell me what's going on?"

He didn't answer, he didn't even look at her.

 _Perhaps he's deaf._ She thought to herself, so Lily stepped closer until she was standing in front of him. He didn't even flinch.

 _Blind too?_

But it seemed strange that a blind and deaf man would be standing alone in a hallway in a school.

"Patrick!" A voice called out from behind Lily.

She turned to see an even frailer man approaching and this clearly caught the other man's attention.

"Donald." Spectacles greeted the frail man with a firm handshake and familiar grin.

Well that certainly seemed to rule out deafness and blindness. Lily felt rude to stand so impotently beside them, but they didn't seem to notice. She said their names. They never answered. She waved at them. Not a single flicker of a gaze. She was invisible to them, but why? Was it all part of some mind boggling dream? The kind where you are conscious of your unconscious adventures? The two men agreed to move, Patrick signalling to Donald to follow. They walked towards Lily and before she had a chance to move out of their way, they had passed through her. She froze and gasped. Her body felt weightless, like butterflies in her stomach had escaped to every other inch of her being.

"Wait!" She cried after them even though she knew it was pointless. In a world where nothing made sense she needed something to latch onto even if that meant two oblivious men. She chased after them.

First they went to a set of wooden stairs leading up to a door marked as 'Headmaster's Office'. Lily furrowed her eyebrows. The Headteacher's office was based on the first floor at her Welton, not the second, located just next to the school assembly hall that doubled as a chapel. The men shut the door before she had a chance to follow them inside and so Lily sat at the base of the staircase and waited until they returned over 10 minutes later. She then followed the two men to the dining hall, but this time the room was different from moments earlier. Tables had been cast aside to make room for a small group of students that carried banners. She recognised them – the banners, not the students. They were part of an old code of conduct followed by the school. Lily remembered hearing from her friend Sophie about how they would make a procession through the school towards the assembly hall at the start of each year to the sound of live music. The instrument varied year to year depending on what the most skilled musician played. Sophie said they stopped the procession in…'76? '77? They redefined the 4 values into 8 new ones, focusing on love and courtesy as well as discipline. The banners still made an appearance at all the school reunions and celebration days, but the ones in front of Lily were considerably cleaner. The ones she was used to were faded and fraying. She jumped at the sound of bagpipes as a boy blew his first practice note. Then laughter caught her attention. It came from a small group of boys, all her age perhaps. Of the three she could see, Lily couldn't recognise a single soul. Teachers were just the same. Lily felt dizzy just trying to process the lack of familiarity in such a familiar place. She jumped at the flash of a camera, sighed and held her head in her hands. What was happening to her? It just had to be a dream, right? A dream that felt so real, one that kept her heart on edge.

"Banners up!" A voice suddenly cried and then the bagpipes kicked in and Lily's head burned. Then she felt people pass through her again. The sensation reminded her of a tickly cough – bothersome but completely inaccessible. She darted out of the way before anyway else to exasperate her feeling of nonexistence. She looked back at the group proceeding out from the dining hall and briefly caught the eye of the boy at the end, the one she didn't catch a glimpse of earlier. He seemed so familiar and yet she couldn't place it. Her morning was too hectic for her brain to work properly and all she could do was watch him. But then she noticed a flicker in his gaze as though he was watching her, but it was just a moment and then his sight was back on his fellow classmates as he followed them out, banner in arms. Had he seen her? Was she not completely alone? She shook it off. He couldn't have. Why would he? He was just looking through her perhaps? But Lily wasn't so sure.

When she felt calm enough to function, Lily followed the group out and into the assembly hall, Sophie's voice filling her mind with every step.

The group came to stop at the end of the assembly hall and an elderly man brought the room to attention.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys, the light of knowledge." His words merited applause and another man, one of the two from before, stepped forward and lit the candle of a young boy in the front row. Lily slipped into a spare seat on the back row and watched the ceremony take place with great curiosity. She peered over the crowd in hopes of capturing the boy's attention. She was desperate to remember his name. It seemed so stupid; it was on the tip of her tongue.

"100 years ago in 1859"—the words brought Lily to standstill. She hadn't a care of what else the man had to say. It all sounded like gibberish from there on out anyway.

Lily, even with her seemingly non-functioning brain, could work out that basic maths and it left her feeling uneasy.

 _1959._

She protested. She was being silly. She was dreaming. She'd misheard him. This was all one big exaggerated prank. Lily held her head between her knees and took deep breaths because none of it made sense. No fucking sense at all. She resurfaced and ran fingers through her hair. Sat up, sat down, examined her nails, concentrated on her feet. It put her only slightly at ease. She got up again and walked closer to the man speaking at the podium, watching his mouth move, but not listening to a single word he had to say. She felt as though she was listening to the world around her from underwater, drowning in the realization of her newfound discovery.

She shook her head, shook her head at everything he had to say even though she couldn't hear it. It was lies. All lies. The entire world around her was lies. Some cruel trick being played by her subconscious self. She backed away from the front of the assembly hall, but caught her foot on the other, stumbled and fell. Lily slammed into the flag stone floor and the pain was real. She yelped and whimpered, but upon inspecting her hand she noticed there was no mark. Not a single graze. Lily hauled herself up, grimacing and then she realised someone was watching her. She was sure of it. She looked up and saw the boy staring at her with eyes as wide as saucers, mouth ajar. Who was this girl that no one could see? She could easily empathise with his astonishment. And suddenly it clicked.

 _Neil._

In front of her was a dead boy and yet he was still very much alive and that was the final straw for Lily. She could feel her stomach tossing every which way; she was going to be sick. She sprinted from the hall and to the entrance. Passing through the door without bothering to actually open just like the previous night. She raced down the drive until she finally reached the front gates. She began retching and spluttering but nothing came out. And why would she? If she was able to fall and not graze would she even be able to vomit? She fell to the ground in a pathetic heap, crying and cursing. She tore up grass in her hand and kicked at rose bushes and tree bark.

"Why?" She snivelled aloud. She mumbled it over and over again, banging her fists into the ground until finally she was able to calm down. She wiped away her tears and dragged a hand across her runny nose and breathed deeply.

She didn't know how she was supposed to get back, but Neil Perry certainly seemed like her best bet.

* * *

 **I really hoped that you enjoyed the latest chapter :) Thank you to everyone that has responded to this story so far. x**

 **Guest: Neil is such a wonderful character and I am so glad to hear that you feel that way about my writing. I hope that you continue to enjoy this story x**

 **joyandhope99: Thank you so much for enjoying both my stories and I am amazed at how far the reader base is! It's always great to hear that I have managed to understand a character, especially when it comes to Charlie, someone who treads the line between an idiotic sleaze and a man of honour (though we all still manage to love him either way!) x**

 **CastleRockGirl: Aw thank you! I've been wanting to return to DPS fanfics for a while (I briefly did but then deleted the story) but I've wanted to have the right story. I am glad that you like this concept and hopefully I don't push the suspension of disbelief too far when approaching this story. :) x**


	3. Chapter 3

Lily grimaced as she caught sight of the clothes, cars and décor that completely went against her own time. _1959_. She tried to breathe deeply. She needed to stay calm. She walked up to the front doors of the school. The area was swarming with parents sending off their children. The sight was a familiar one. Lily could recall hugging her Mom and Dad before waving goodbye as they drove out of sight. The memory made her eyes sting, just for a moment. She dodged past a mother and her son and then the mother reached out a hand to beckon her husband and the limb shot straight through Lily's stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut and clenched her fists. Lily couldn't panic now. She did her best to shake it off and continued on her way. She needed to find Neil. Was that even possible? The assembly had finished in the time that she had spent retching, or rather attempting to, at the front gates. Neil could be anywhere now. Would she endlessly just miss him and never find her way home? But then she saw him. Waiting with his father at the front entrance. Her foot was on the first step. She paused there. He didn't see her and then suddenly he did. Neil was nodding along to polite conversation with the headmaster and his father and then she was there staring up at him and he couldn't move his eyes away.

"Who are-?" The two words rolled off his tongue without even thinking about it and then he caught himself. His father and headmaster looked up at him confusedly, "I thought I saw someone." He mumbled, throwing in a small laugh for good measure. A simple mistake of course. But it wasn't a simple mistake. He knew that, Lily knew that.

Lily watched how the headmaster moved on to the next set of parents, how Neil walked down the steps with his father to the car. The pair shook hands. Then Neil's father gripped his son's shoulder and looked at him proudly, "Work hard this year."

"I will." Neil promised, "Have a safe journey."

"I might stick around for a little while longer Neil. There's one or two people I'd like to catch up with, but you go ahead, get settled in. I'll put your cases in the dining hall."

Neil nodded, waved a final goodbye and then walked up the stairs. Lily went to follow him but he disappeared out of sight into the crowd of students. She desperately tried to find him, standing on tip toes to catch a glimpse of the boy. Was he trying to avoid her? He probably felt insane. She felt insane.

Lily charged into the crowd, passing throwing body after body, shivering and twitching as she went. She gasped, falling to her hands and knees as she finally found an exit. She looked up and could just make out a boy that seemed familiar but upon closer inspection he wasn't Neil, just another tall dark haired boy. Lily dragged herself to her feet and decided her best chance was to go to the dorms. He'd have to show up eventually. So she walked out into the courtyard, into the other side of the school, down one hall and then up a flight of stairs, but the door wasn't there. She groaned. How could she be so stupid? The girls' dorms were still boys' dorms in the 1950s. She took the same route back and as she made her way to the actual dorms it became quite clear she was in the right place this time. Students were slowly filling the space. Lily made her way up to the Seniors' floor – that was if past Welton even followed the same formula as present Welton – and sure enough the oldest looking boys were there. Lily didn't spy Neil however. Perhaps he was younger? But that didn't make sense. He was in the Senior's year book for this year.

With no Neil in sight, Lily decided to wait in her own room, or at least the room that would become hers half a century later. So she filed through the boys, not wanting to experience the same as she did earlier. Her room was unoccupied for now and still looked just as alien as before. She could see all the decorations and details that made it home in her head. They all were gone now. Non-existent.

Lily shuffled over to the bed and sat cross legged on the empty mattress, the door open so she could spy for Neil.

"Here we are!"

Lily jumped.

Two boys hauled their cases into the room, eyeing up the number on the door. Lily darted out of the way before she could experience what it felt like to have a case slammed on top of her…or rather through her. She didn't recognise either of them. She eyed them up, sat on the pillow of her bed– well—one of their beds. They were intruders but they weren't. If anything she was the intruder. The one that so swiftly threw his bag onto his—Lily's—bed, flung open the case and began to unpack. Lily moved from the bed and stood just before he began piling up clothes on his pillow.

"So Charlie," The other boy began, "How was summer?"

"It was alright." Charlie shrugged as he began to hang up some smart shirts.

"I had a pretty great summer myself. We went—"

"Hey Cameron maybe save the reunion for when the others get here?"

Cameron pressed his lips together and cleared his throat, "Yeah I guess."

Lily eyed up Charlie, the darker haired of the two. She watched as he stowed adult magazines under his pillow and she rolled her eyes. Such a typical school boy. Observing it all brought back memories of Robbie Dennings having his playboy confiscated in the middle of biology with Ms Fisk: _"I'm just revising anatomy!"_

Lily chuckled. She looked up, eyes hopeful. Had they heard her? But the boys were unmoved by her presence. She sighed, fists clenching and hit them against her foreheard.

She didn't realise that Charlie had slipped away until Cameron started to quietly sing to a tune she didn't recognise. She observed the ginger haired boy. How he sang and then screwed his eyes together and groaned at how stupid he sounded earlier in front of Charlie. And then something caught his attention and Lily's gaze followed his all the way across the hall.

"Neil!" Cameron called out, leaving to greet his neighbour. "Study group tonight?"

"Yeah" Neil nodded.

"Business as usual, huh? Hey I heard you got the new kid! Looks like a stiff!" Cameron burst into laughter but it came to an abrupt end when a boy showed up, "Oops."

He was the 'new kid' no doubt.

Cameron backed away into his room, earning a laugh from Neil.

Lily was careful to be seen straight away by Neil—she knew how uneasy she made him feel—but as she leaned in from her position in Charlie and Cameron's room, her view was obscured by none other than Charlie who dumped another case on his bed and then sauntered back over to the door to meet to other boys, neither of which Lily recognised. She blocked off Neil's door way and so Lily huffed and left the comfortable of a room she would one day call her own and stood to the right of the door way next to a boy with a cute grin and floppy brown hair.

"—Chemistry! My father though I should get ahead." Lily couldn't see the boy—Charlie's head blocked most of the view—but she recognised the voice as Neil's, "How's your summer, slick?"

Neil drew closer to the trio at the door and Lily, through a small crack in the group, could see how Neil's face faltered when he realised she was stood with them. He shook off his discomfort immediately, settling for a smile in hopes of not attracting any suspicions.

"Meeks. Door. Closed." Charlie instructed to a ginger haired boy with glasses as the group followed Neil into the room. Lily darted inside and backed herself straight into the nearest corner and watched.

"Yes sir." Meeks mumbled.

 _Is that really his name?_ Lily thought to herself.

"Gentleman," Neil began as the others made themselves comfortable, "What are the four pillars?"

"Travesty, horror, decadence, excrement." They recited in hushed union. Well, all except the new boy. He was turned away from the group, fiddling with a photo frame, occasionally casting brief glances over his shoulder.

"Okay: Study group." Charlie announced, placing a cigarette between his lips at the same time, "Meeks aced Latin, I didn't quite flunk English, so if you want we've got our study group." He flipped the lighter in his hand.

"Sure Cameron asked me to. Anyone mind including him?" Neil replied, resting against the radiator. His eyes landed on Lily observing from corner but he looked down the moment she noticed.

"What's his specialty? Bootlicking?" Charlie snickered as he attempted to light his cigarette.

"Um, he's your roommate." Neil said

"That's not my fault!"

There was a moment of silence. Lily found herself playing with her nails.

"Oh I'm sorry, my name is Steven Meeks."

 _Okay that name makes a little more sense_.

Meeks must have noticed how the new boy glanced as he now had his arm slender hand outstretched towards him. If only they could do the same for Lily; put her at ease in this alien world.

"Oh this is Todd Anderson." Neil piped up, guiding his roommate towards his friend.

Todd. Lily furrowed her eyebrows and squeezed her eyes tight. There was something familiar about Todd. It was tickling at the back of her mind but she couldn't recall. They only significant thing she could think of was Todd Myers, a boy that liked her in Elementary and left her drawing of his pet newt as a Valentine's day present. She was absolutely certain that memory was not relevant now. But then what was it? She pondered for a few moments longer, only half hearing names like Charlie Dalton and Knox something in the background. Was it Knox Street? It sounded right…but Lily could sworn there was another syllable or two.

There was a knock on the door. Lily shook her head and brought her attention back to the room. Charlie hurried to throw the smouldering cigarette to the ground and crushed it under his shoe.

"It's open!" Neil squeaked.

The door swung open, blocking Lily's view of the visitor.

"Father? I thought you'd gone?" said Neil.

"Mr Perry." The others greeted

"Keep your seats fellas, keep your seats." Mr Perry replied. He observed as the boys followed suit and then turned back towards his son, "Neil I've just spoken to Mr Nolan; I think you're taking too many extracurricular activities this semester and I've decided that you should drop the school annual."

"But I'm the assistant editor this year." Neil murmured.

"Well, I'm sorry."

"But Father I can't …it wouldn't be fair!—"

"Fellas!"

Neil stood in his room, with his friends, staring at his father, petrified and Lily stood behind his father, watching it all unfold. It all began to make more sense in her mind as she slowly remembered all that had occurred before she had entered this strange dream or world or something. Neil's eyes shifted from his father to Lily. She looked at his friends, and they didn't dare speak either. Why speak when Neil could barely speak to his own father? His father beckoned him outside and Lily rested at the door frame and listened. She could sense Neil's flustered reaction in her presence so she moved further into the room, into the company of people who didn't realise she existed. She was just a figment of Neil's imagination, supposedly. When she heard his father leave, she went back out to find Neil in the hall but Charlie and Knox had already moved to speak.

"Why doesn't he let you do what you want?" Charlie inquired, but the answer was obvious.

"Yeah Neil you should really tell him off" Knox added

"Oh yeah like you tell your parents off? Mr Future Lawyer and Mr Future Banker?"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry" Knox backed up

"Just," Neil began, "Don't tell me how to speak to my own father."

Lily observed the poor little boy. She felt pity deep in her stomach and signed, earning a moment of his attention, but only for a glimmer of a second. She knew what this led to. She knew what it all meant. First the annual, then the acting, then death and God knows what else came before all that. How many things Neil must have been refused in his childhood? And it all stacked up to create a broken person. He seemed ready to crumble there and then.

"Latin, 8 o'clock?" Meeks asked in hopes of moving on the conversation as he appeared in the doorway unaware that Lily was right next to him

"Yes" Neil nodded enthusiastically, moving away from the wall and improving his posture. The four boys escaped back into the dorm room and hesitantly allowed Cameron to join them. Lily took up her spot in the corner again and just continued to observe because she didn't have much else to do with her life. Unfortunately she'd forgotten to pack a spare pair of clothes or a DS.

The group soon separated and went off to their rooms, leaving Todd, Neil and Lily all in the same room. Todd excused himself, and Lily seized the moment to finally speak to the only person who knew she was even there.

"My name is Lily." Her voice cracked, "How do you do?" She stuck out a hand. She didn't know what else to say. Her mind had gone to mush.

"What are you?"

"A girl. Called Lily. As I said."

"What are you doing here? Why I can see you? Am I, Am I going insane? No that's a stupid question of course I'm going insane!" Neil clasped a hand over his mouth and hushed down, double checking the door was properly shut.

"I don't know why I'm here if I'm honest. I would say I'm dreaming but it's too real to be a dream, I guess. Too logical. I don't understand it any more than you. I was in a cave and then there was a statue but it wasn't really a statue and I touched it and I woke up here, well not here, but in the village, or the town or whatever it is called now, in a shop and it was dark and I came back to Welton and went to bed. I thought I was drunk or something and then the room was wrong it was completely wrong! And the curtains, we don't have curtains and my friend has a mood board and it was gone and I didn't get it!

Neil breathed deeply, ran fingers through his hair, sat down, rubbed his palms and fidgeted and fidgeted. He didn't speak for a long while. He was thinking. Then he buried his head in his hands and uttered the words she dreaded the very thought of.

"Leave me alone."

She felt a pang of hurt in her chest.

"You're just something in my mind. I can feel it. Stress. I've been stressed for weeks and this is just the icing on the cake isn't it? So just go. I don't know what I'm supposed to do with imaginary people, okay. Just walk away. Surely it's that easy?"

"Neil, you don't understand you're all I have-"

"Of course, you're in my mind. Of course you need me. Just go."

"But-"

"Go! Okay! Get out!" He pulled at his hair and breathed even more deeply. He sighed, "Just please go. Go? Get out!"

The door handle turned and the door cracked open. Todd peered inside with a quizzical gaze, "Everything alright?"

"Yeah" Neil shrugged, he really proved himself as an actor. He glanced briefly at Lily as she appeared to have a panic attack, wheezing, eyes watering, heart pounding. She was trapped and he didn't want to help. Her lip quivered.

"I'll be off then." If she'd been visible they might have seemed like a couple of sorts. One half disappearing after the arrival of a friend. She balled her hands into fists and walked out of the room, through the door this time for good measure. From there she bolted. It felt like deja vu as she ran down the drive, but this time she didn't stop by the gates, she ran all the way to the village and sat down on a park bench and began to cry. When she emerged from her hands she spotted the Church and suddenly an idea sparked in her mind.

How silly of her. The shop, the statue. Why not try where she entered? It seemed so perfectly logical.

Lily got up and headed in the direction of the shops, but there seemed to be a number of different antique and junk shops. She dreaded the thought of searching every one, top to bottom in hopes of finding the statue. Antique shop and junk shops were not laid out like a standard Walmart.

Lily wandered along the sidewalk and stood in front of the first shop door and looked out to see the Church but the angle was wrong. She stepped over to the next one. Almost but not quite. Then at the next one she could see her memory lining up with her reality. She turned on her heel, a proud grin on her face, and stepped inside. Thankfully the search didn't take anywhere near as long as expected because there on the shelf, off the second aisle, on the right from the door was the omnipotent statue. She had to do a double take when she saw it as it was still a complete lamp in the junk shop. Lily felt a surge of excitement. Butterflies flourished in her stomach. She grabbed the statue with both hands and waited for the sensation to kick in. She knew it took a little while but after a minute she grew impatient. She tried caressing the wood carving the same as she had before. It made no difference. She shook the statue so much that the lamp shade flew off and collided with a display of egg cups.

To her surprise, Lily heard a curious voice. It grew louder. The owner or manager or staff member- whoever it was-had heard the commotion. Lily, realising she was still holding the statue, rushed to place it back where she got it before the person saw a floating lampstand. The person in question was a woman who looked to be in her late 40s. The woman bent down and picked up the lamp shade and placed it back on its stand. She then went about observing the egg cups. One had fallen over and chipped. She was certainly not pleased.

"What am I going to do with you?" She muttered to the lamp as she grabbed it and placed it closer to the counter, far away from the breakable egg cups and closer to the collection of old cuddly toys.

Lily sighed. Her ticket here was clearly not a return. She'd just have to turn back to Neil and hope he'd realise she wasn't a sign of his debilitating mental health.

She looked back at the chipped egg cup and smirked—she had a plan.

* * *

 **Hello again. It has certainly been a very long time since I updated this! Basically I have been very busy during my first year of Uni, among other things. I'm hoping to post more during the summer as I do genuinely like writing this story. We'll see if I can actually stick to that plan. Thank you for all the support that this story has received in my absence! x**


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